Saturday, August 09, 2008

Slowly but surely...

I'm still here. Still no gym. Still on a crap food bender. This is the worst one in two years I think. Just can't seem to get a hold on it. I'll do good all day long, then fall off the plan come dinner time. I guess once I'm done working and my brain can wander, I get sad again and lean on my crappy food choices as some sort of crutch. Argh. I don't even remember ever being quite this bad pre-WW. I probably was, but just didn't admit it.

Today was a happier day though. Our two fabulous friends came over and spent the entire afternoon helping me unload all the crap from our garage, sort it all, then move back the keepers in MUCH more organized fashion. The anal, tidy freak in me is so much happier now. It's freaking amazing. I now have photos of the big "for sale" items and in no time the garage will actually be a garage, not an oversized storage locker.

It was great to have a happy day after the two weeks of unhappy. It will still be lonely tonight without my furry man laying faithfully by my side though. I don't know if that will ever feel right.

Anyway, food wasn't even on my mind today. Ate what I wanted and just didn't give a flying frick. I'm going to bed tonight with a good attitude for the menu tomorrow. Let's hope I wake up with this same attitude.

(Oh, and my neighbor saw that my bike tires were still flat...from our move, seven months ago...so he pumped them up for me....so now I can drag my sorry cardio-free-for-far-too-long lungs around the block tomorrow.) Pin It

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

Sweetie, I hate to quote the WW Gods, but if it isn't hunger, food won't fix it. You're upset, I know. Food isn't going to solve anything or magically make your pain disappear. I know I wish it could (LOL) but it just won't.

*big hugs* I know you're hurting, and you've been through a rough few weeks. Have yourself one good workout and one good food day, and I'm sure you'll feel a LOT better. Baby steps, hun. Baby steps!

Let us know how you do.

Lots of love xoxox

carla said...

it HAS been a rough few weeks and after riding the CRAPPY FOOD PONY (my phrase :)) it's time, girlfriend, to git back on the clean eating wagon.
NOT AT ALL FOR WEIGHTLOSS but the fact that, IMO, the processed cr*p only makes our BODIES feel more depressed with only, in my experience, serves to worsen my mood.

HAPPY NEW DAY.

make ONE MEAL today filled with fruit veggies and some clean protein.

small changes...

Bi0nicw0man said...

Girls...I have done the clean eating all day, but fall off the wagon after work. So yes, the good eats do make me feel OK (not better) but it doesn't stop me from just taking the easy way out in the evening. I appreciate the sentiment, because I've used it myself a thousand times, but one meal at a time isn't cutting it. I need a different approach.

I was having a rough time of it before the sad events....so it's more than just that.

I think I'm really just sick of always being so concerned about 5 lbs and a chubby tummy. It seems to be all I ever think about and it's draining.

Anyway, I still sooooooo appreciate the support and something has got to kick in here eventually.

As much as I hate to say it....one day at a time.

FatMom said...

I'm so sorry...I know things are so difficult now, but you know that food won't mend your broken heart. You can't repair the cracks with ice cream. It'll take time...it'll never go away, but it'll ease up some with time. My deepest sympathies to you~

Phoenixrising said...

You're 100% right, one day at a time... don't rush youself, (but don't go overboard, which I don't think you are, but...) Mourning the loss of a loved one, 2 legs or 4, is a process... your heart is focused elsewhere, and rightfully so. Don't beat yourself up over your food falters right now... From what I can tell, you're generally lead a healthy lifestyle, and you are in good shape. A few pounds can come and go, but you need time to heal and it's ok to focus more on that right now...

Maybe my advice seems counter productive to some, perhaps it's not the healthiest thoughts to have or encourage... but emotions are there whether you are eating ice cream or celery sticks. Whatever it takes for you to move through this gently is what I think you should pursue... These emotions aren't going to go away if you stuff your face with chips, and guess what, they aren't going to go away if you pound your butt at the gym nonstop and live off of salad either! Face them, embrace them, go through them, and then when you are ready, move on, and get back on your wagon! :) {HUGS}

Cat_82 said...

You know what Jaime? You're beautiful, and smart and talented and just plain lovely. Who cares if you've had a rough week eating wise? It's been a ROUGH week for you.... You know everything that you need to know to get back on track tomorrow, so I say, don't sweat the eating that you did over the last week. You're perfect the way you are in my opinion, so just do what you know that you need to do tomorrow, and we'll be here to support you through the bad times and the good times....

love,
Cat