Thursday, March 04, 2010

SoapBox

Forgive me: I need to step away from my normal food porn and healthy ramblings just for a second.

I’ll be the first to admit that formspring is fun. I really enjoy asking and answering fun and thoughtful questions about myself and fellow bloggers. But I’m also here to tell you that it is being abused by nosy, ridiculous douches that think that they are entitled to asking raging personal questions.

Contrary to the opinion of those people, just because you read my blog and because my blog is public, you are not entitled to ask anonymous personal questions about my life. As much as a blog is for the readers, it really is an outlet for the actual blogger. And in my case I don’t usually get all too personal with my information and plan to keep it that way. I like that my blog isn’t too intense and I think most of my readers appreciate that too.

I clearly stated that I had a crap weekend but that I didn’t want to say why. Quit freaking asking me! Rewording your question over and over again is just plain rude. I am not going to answer it. I mentioned that I was emotional mainly just because I needed to get it out…not because I wanted to share why. If I had wanted to share why, I would have. Duh.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to hear from people who care…but you are just being plain nosey. You don’t actually care. It’s not OK.

Besides, the assumption you are making is completely random. What if I am upset about a family crisis, a sick friend, a missing pet, work related issues, or some other equally emotional issue?

Won’t you feel like a friggin’ ass if and when I ever do say why I had a crappy week. At this point you make me feel like I can’t even decide when and what to post for fear of having to deal with yet another round of your maddening questions. I hope that makes you feel good.

It is my prerogative to share as much or as little info as I feel.

If you don’t like it, then get the hell off my blog. PLEASE.

At the very least, quit hiding behind anonymous comments. That only shows that you know what you are asking is inappropriate.

To the rest of you that left lovely comments, thank you. You are the reasons I do share a little…as I feel comfortable. I thank you all for your respect and support.

For a more eloquent approach to this exact topic please see this perfect post by Blue Eyed Bride. She totally nailed it.

Now…let the commenting begin. This should be good. ;)

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21 comments:

Aaron said...

Sounds like a variation of:
Vaguebooking
An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help

marie said...

I had a discussion w/my friend last night about how openly I live my life on my blog but she soon discovered how much I actually don't share on there.

Although I keep comments completely open & people can ask me ANYTHING, I'll never do anything like formspring because people think they can do something completely ridiculous for that reason. That's another reason why I've avoided it, save for the one time I asked you a silly, self-indulgent question :)

But I'm glad you got that off of your chest. You do not deserve to be treated this way at all, no matter what you're dealing with right now.

You have a right to be private about YOUR LIFE.

So high fives & hugs from me :)

Jenny said...

I have nothing entertaining to say, only that I totally understand where you're coming from. I have had a few issues with comments in the past (not on my blog, in another part of the WWW). Some people have nothing better to do than try to get their nose up in other peoples business, and it's completely wrong. The formspring is meant as a fun q & a, and not prying, annoying and upsetting.

I'm with you girl, if someone doesn't like whatever they are (or aren't) reading, they should just back off. There's no room for pushy, prodding, negative q's or comments, anywhere!

take care!
Jenny

Jaime said...

Aaron, eff you and the anonymous horse you rode in on. Love that your profile doesn't exist so I can't call you out in public. Jackass.

Allison said...

Yeah, that's why I haven't started a Formspring...

My blog is for what I choose to post. And I think Formspring appears to a lot of people to be a 'ask anything AND I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING' type of thing, even though it doesn't have to be.

I'm sorry that people were taking it too far for you :(

Lex said...

I am sorry that people are being so damn.... PUSHY with their comments!
Anonymity is a crazy thing that unfortunately so many take advantage of.
I hope they back off with the silly questions and if they decide to keep reading, then I hope they show some respect.

xoxox

Liane said...

*snort* I just tweeted you about the "aaron" person.

In all seriousness, this whole crazy meanspirited commenting thing was the reason I held back from joining the blogging community for so long. I'm glad I did (hello, would have taken forever to find Greek yogurt crack on my own!) but I am still super cautious!

*sigh* I don't understand the anonymous commenters. Never will.

notjustcelery said...

I often find it hard to define the line of how much or little I want to share on my blog. I like to be open but what you're dealing with right now is proof that I might want to be more careful. Sometimes blogging can be stressful!

I am lucky to have never really received a negative comment. (probably just jinxed myself!)

Susan said...

As I mentioned on my blog, I get irked by anonymity on the internet. I've studied it as a journalist, and it's something that is ALWAYS coming up in new media meetings. I think allowing people to anonymously post things is opening up a whole can of worms. People with say ANYTHING when there is no accountability. With that said, it's your blog, you have the right to say, or not say, whatever you want. Not to mention I think you're an awesome person who doesn't deserve to be berated by others <3

Alexis_foodfunfit said...

Aw - it's too bad people are creepy. I've only read a couple of the Q & A reponses from various bloggers but it's so nice that people are willing to put themselves out there. Of course it's your right not to answer whatever you want.

There are always troublemakers out there looking to ruin things for everyone else :-(

Jaime said...

Funny enough, in 4 years I have been very lucky on the negative comment front. I have only ever had a couple that upset me...and only one troll that caused me to do away with anonymous comments.

This is more of a frustration with what I assume is one person that deems it OK to continually harass me about this particular topic. (I guess it could be multiple people...).

Cat said...

You know what? Eff everyone who is just a total Asshole. I'm so sick of these losers who think that they are entitled to knowing about your life. Just because they read your blog does not make them your friends and does not make them entitled to know about what's going on in your personal life. This is the MAIN thing that I dislike about blogging.

Screw you Aaron!

Jaime, keep that head high. You owe NOTHING to ANYONE, so just keep doing what you're doing.

itsawrapteacher said...

I didn't see the comments but was it out of genuine concern or just plain rude?

Jaime said...

Rude and nosey. If it was intended as concern, they had a poor way of showing it.

These are formspring questions I chose not to answer. I would never have mentioned this, but I've received variations on the same theme multiple times. It needs to stop.

Heather said...

I got told off by some 50 year old woman on FB from a comment I left on a group page. I was quickly responding and made a typo in spelling and she actually directly messaged me to insult my intelligence. After a few traded messages back and forth I won our war of witts but it was a very strange situation all in all.

I came to the conclusion that some people have wayyy too much time on their hands and are nosy as hell...lol.

RunDiRun said...

Is there a way to block that person/people from your formspring page? Sorry you're dealing with meanies.

Jen said...

Bah!!!

I really hate when people feel that they can act that way, meanwhile they are hiding behind "anonymous" - sitting at home on their computers where nobody knows who the heck they are and then they can continue with their day as if they were normal functioning human beings instead of assholes without brains or hearts.

Eff em Jaime. Eff them all who say that shit. Seriously, just because you put yourself out there on the blog doesn't mean you have to put EVERYTHING on there.

SEriously, do they want you to blog about every time you used the washroom/had sex/shaved your legs/blew your nose??? Probably not (if they do, they are messed and that is a WHOLE other story) - so why should you have to share every damn emotion that runs through your body.

There are a LOT of things I don't write about (and others) because we don't NEED to, this is why we have friends and family, we shouldn't have to blog about it to get feedback/comments (on the BIG issues) - or we do so in a private post, and nobody flames us for that!!!

As for the "seeking attention" comment - shove it up your ass Aaron, because I believe that a comment like that is MUCH more attention seeking than "Vaguebooking"...and for eff sakes, you were vague because you didn't want to share and people kept asking why you weren't blogging...

GAH...seriously...I am so mad right now I could freak out. And you won't like me when I'm angry...

Syl said...

Jamie, I got one of these today in relation to the death of my dad. I'm sorry you are going through this and I'm hoping this person seeks some counselling.

Hugs from one knocked down person to another. Love your blog Jamie.

Moi said...

People are arrogant as*holes. They think they should know everything about you. Sometime though, they actaully do care and want to help.

Don't let the e'ffers get you down. Just delete their stupid personal and noisy comments. Don't give them any responce.

Love the food porn!!!!

chezjulie said...

Hi Jaime, I remember seeing a question to you on Formspring when you first started doing it that I thought was incredibly personal and rude. Unbelievable. Maybe it is time to close the ole Formspring account?

I would hate to lose your beautiful food pics, meal ideas, and smiling face because of a few tactless people.And you are more than entitled to blog "I had a bad day" without any of us bloggies needing to know why!

JavaChick said...

Aw Jaime! Totally get where you are coming from. You should be able to say you had a bad day/weekend/whatever and leave it at that. Don't let it get you to you.

:)